How are your current money habits? Like most Americans, your money habits are likely not perfect. You probably have fears about money, excitement about money, and maybe even guilt about the money you have, that others don’t. You may also have thoughts about how much money you deserve to have, or how much money is too much money. But where does all this stem from? Let us dive into my past and yours with this blog post to help you transform your money habits moving forward.

Like with most people, our current beliefs about money stem from our life experiences. Those life experiences often build from our earliest experiences that we had with family or caregivers. According to Forbes, by the age of 7 our values around money can be already set (“What is Your Relationship With Money“).

Take my childhood for example. I distinctly remember the earlier 90s when inflation was high and money in high yield bank accounts or in CD’s were getting yields of 10% (at least according to my father’s words). I was very young at this point, but I recall my father talking about how if you just put your money into these accounts, you could almost live off the interest. He was not talking to me, but I heard him and it stuck (just like many unexpected comments from parents). Of course, my father’s comment probably didn’t take into account the Real Returns (after inflation returns), which probably wouldn’t have been much (and was why the accounts were paying so high of yields, I’m assuming). Regardless, that comment stuck with me from an early age. He was saying that if someone had enough money in those accounts, they may not have to work anymore? Well, wait a minute, why wasn’t everyone doing that?

My parents often disagreed over the amount of time my father was gone for work. It seemed to me that if we just put our money in these accounts, my father wouldn’t have to be gone so much. The great and simple mind of a child.

On the flip-side, many years later, I was in college during the 2007-2008 financial crisis. I saw family members lose jobs (sometimes multiple jobs in a row as the economy got worse and employers let go more and more people). I saw what that event was doing to the my area of the country, but knew from the news it was clearly wide-spread.

Internally, this created anxiety within me (and I’m sure almost everyone at that time) and made me feel that I needed to save more money than I originally contemplated, in order to be safer from another event like that happening again, down the road.

These two time periods in my life, among thousands others, created a desire to learn more about investing and saving money. If I learned about how to invest, I could possibly create more income and opportunities to not have to work as much when I was married and had kids. Maybe, this would allow my spouse and I to not have as many disagreements as my parents had. That seemed important to being happy.

Also, if I saved more and invested more, and if the world had another huge recession or depression, perhaps I wouldn’t be beat up as badly as countless others that I saw and knew. I could protect myself and my family to a greater extent from bad events that we could not predict.

What events happened in your life that affect how you think about money? Have you actually thought about this and used your understanding of the effect of these events on your mind to grasp why you do what you do with money? If you have not thought deeply about your past with money, you really (FOR REAL) need to. I know that the events that I went through during the 2007-2008 financial crisis (though they were not nearly as hard on me as others) created a long-term anxiety within me. I know that even though I save more money than most people, and have income coming in from more sources than most people, I am still money paranoid. I may be able to be home more with my family (which is great by the way) but my wife and I still have disagreements about money because I am fearful about spending too much, in comparison to saving the money for future events we cannot predict (I also believe that the opposite of being frugal is being wasteful with your money, another aspect from my past I need to decode).

So, I implore you to take some time with this post and explore your past. It can help you understand your relationships and why you feel so strongly about financial matters.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to gain a deeper understanding of your current financial strategy:

1. What did my parents or guardians, and others I looked up to tell me about money? Was it positive or negative? Was their teachings fear based or opportunity based?
2. What do you wish they (parents/guardians) talked to you about in regards to money? How can you use what you were told and what you wish they talked to you about to alter your feelings on money for the better?
3. What economic events or personal events of your past built new feelings about money? Were they positive or negative feelings?
4. How can you create new understanding and new positive thoughts around money, as quickly as possible, so you can improve your future with money and relationships? If you are light on ideas, might I suggest reading more of the Midwest Money Mentor blog posts, along with books such as:
   • “Think & Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill,
   • “The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas J. Stanley Ph.D.
   • “The Psychology of Money” by Morgan Housel,
   • “The Simple Path To Wealth” by JL Collins,

One quick note. Though we may never “fix” our current mental states around money, we can understand them and take action to remedy our initial impulses. Imagine if you can visually see when you are regressing to your old ways of handling money (the not good habits). Or if you can catch yourself causing issues to your relationships because of your impulses around money. How much easier would it be to stop yourself from buying something you shouldn’t or do not need? Or to apologize quickly to your spouse or kids before anger and resentment sets in because your quick reaction caused unintended results?

Hopefully this exercise can help you progress towards your financial goals, and your family’s financial goals, much faster because you understand yourself better. That is the point of this conversation, at least. To improve your understanding of yourself, so you can improve how you handle money and how money affects your relationships.

I look forward to you continuing your journey, and hope this information helps you in ways you did not expect.

And for something completely unrelated to this post, enjoy one of the 2024 “Best Science Images” –